That is a big question for many people. I am talking about whether or not to be a stay-at-home mom (or dad in some cases). For me, it was an easy one. I knew long before I even thought about getting married that when I had kids, I would want to stay home with them for a while, and I am grateful that it has worked out that I could do that for as long as I have. I was a teacher before having kids, and that is definitely not a 9 to 5 job. For me, it was more like a 7:30 am to 10:30 pm job, plus overtime on the weekends. I am the type of person who puts their all into whatever I do and wants to do well at it, so I didn’t want to do either one or probably both poorly. And for me, being able to be there for my kids was priority.
While it has been challenging, I have no regrets about that decision. I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about calling in sick when my kids were sick or take off work for their numerous doctor and dentist appointments or my own. I enjoy being able to make them lunches in the morning and see them get on the bus, and they don’t need to come home to an empty house. They appreciate the fact that I can pick them up from school when they stay after so they don’t have to be on the late bus for an hour. I was there for all their important milestones and could easily attend field trips and other events at school during the day. And I didn’t have to worry about what to do with them over the summer while I was a work. That’s something I know a lot of parents struggle with and feel guilty about.
There are some down sides to being a stay at home mom though. Obviously, not everyone can afford to not work, so I have been fortunate in that regard, but we definitely had to pinch pennies and watch what we were spending to be sure we weren’t spending beyond our means. There is also not necessarily a lot of regular interaction with other adults, unless you find ways to make that happen. I ended up getting very involved with my children’s pre-school and volunteered quite a bit at the elementary school. I have also done a lot for my neighborhood. These activities have been a source of interaction with others and have also helped fill the void of feeling like I am making a difference somehow, other than being there for my family.
I have mixed feelings about the example I am setting for my kids, particularly my daughter, with not working. I like that they are learning that family is important and should be a priority, but I also think having a mom who works sets the example that you don’t have to give up your dreams and aspirations, and you can be whatever you want to be and have a positive influence on the world around you.
Now that my children are older, I have come full circle to my original question…to work or not to work? So now I am trying to navigate getting back into the work force. Teaching is not a field that is easy to jump back into after having not taught for almost 18 years. A lot has changed in that time. I contemplated getting a job that has nothing to do with teaching for a while, but I eventually decided to be a substitute teacher even though it is not reliable and doesn’t pay that well. I do like the flexibility of the schedule, which has allowed me to make a more gradual transition back to work and continue enjoying the benefits of being a stay at home mom just a little longer. I really wouldn’t trade that for anything.
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