Don’t Give Up

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It’s been a while since my last post. It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about topics to share.  I just haven’t had time lately to write any of them down.  I’ve been busy making progress on some pretty significant things on my “to do” list that have been there for quite some time!

There always seems to be so many things that I wish I could wave a magic wand and make happen, but that’s not reality.  It can be overwhelming sometimes, especially thinking about the bigger things or things that seem not all that realistic.  It’s hard to take that initial first step towards whatever desired outcome, but sometimes doing that and then finding a way to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if they are baby steps, will get the job done.  Often times, once the ball is rolling, it builds momentum and just can’t stop.  That’s definitely been the case in my life lately…one good thing leading to another for the most part, with a few ups and downs in the mix.

That’s not always the case though, and it can be very tempting to throw in the towel, so to speak.  This can be especially true when it comes to parenting and working on relationships.  Lately, I seem to keep coming across all kinds of reminders about the importance of not giving up, including the graphic at the top of this post and this one as well…

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Another quote I’ve seen a few times is … When a child learns to walk and falls down 50 times, he never thinks to himself: “Maybe this isn’t for me?”  Kids don’t typically think about things like failure and disappointment as much as adults do.  They want something and will do what it takes to get it.  Sometimes our minds get the best of us and hold us back from doing all that we can and being all that we can be.  It’s too bad we can’t think more like kids sometimes, or rather not think about and analyze everything.  We need to remember that we can’t always wait for the right or best time to do things, setting goals is important, we can’t be afraid to take the first steps towards those goals, we’ll most likely run into obstacles along the way, it’s OK to ask for help, and that failure is OK.  I like Kid President’s quote… ”If at first you don’t succeed, you’re normal.”  We just need to find a way to get started and then keep going, even if it means putting aside our fears.

For me personally, I sometimes get stuck in a rut thinking about all the things I can’t do, but as soon as I change my mindset to thinking about what I CAN do, then I start getting somewhere because I become more likely to take risks instead of playing it safe.  Sometimes confidence can be a key factor in our successes.  Thinking outside the box often helps, too.  Finding a way around an obstacle, a different way of doing or approaching something, a fresh idea, or a new perspective can be the spark of excitement that becomes a catalyst for making good progress towards a goal or desired outcome. It’s all in how we think about it, really.

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Dealing With Disappointment

Disappointment-QuotesThis has been a week filled with all sorts of disappointments for me, which has me thinking about how people handle different forms of disappointment.  There are, of course, lots of different reasons that we can be disappointed, whether it be in ourselves, in others, in the situations we are in, and so on.  Some things we can control or change, and others we cannot.  What we can definitely control though is how we view and react to the disappointments.

Most of my disappointments this week had to do with other peoples’ decisions or mistakes that are out of my control, but they affect me.  However, sometimes I have been disappointed in myself for not handling a situation better, for not being as efficient with my time as I could have been, or for making a mistake that I could have avoided that now has repercussions.  I could dwell on all of these things and be mad at myself or whomever else, but I try to focus more on how to resolve the situation and/or help prevent the same mistake from being made again.  Sometimes it’s difficult to not be upset, focus on who is to blame, or hold onto those angry feelings for a while, but it is not healthy or productive to do any of those things.  It’s really hard to get past that frustration at times though, especially when it’s a repeated behavior or decision that is the source of disappointment.

I try to remind myself to find the positives and focus on those, especially if there was some way that I learned something about myself or someone else as a result of the disappointment.  Depending on the situation, I may self-reflect and ask myself if there’s anything I could do differently.  Disappointments are one of those things that help us build character and grow as individuals, and it certainly never hurts to remind ourselves of that.  Something else to remind ourselves is that in some instances, perhaps the situation causing the disappointment happened for a reason because better things are to come if we can just be patient and not lose hope.

Disappointments can sometimes be due to certain expectations we have that aren’t being met.  There are plenty of people who live by the philosophy that if you don’t have expectations and just accept everything and everyone as they are, then you won’t ever be disappointed.  I agree with that to a certain extent, but I think it’s appropriate to have some expectations as to how we would like to be treated and how we would like to raise our children to deal with situations and treat others.  If we don’t have those expectations and express them to others, then they may never learn these things or feel it necessary to change any behavior that may be inappropriate or hurtful.

Likewise, I think it’s important for kids to experience disappointment and learn to how deal with it gracefully as they are growing up so that it is not as difficult for them when they are older and so they don’t behave like some adults I know who can’t handle any kind of disappointment.  If we rescue our children from every situation that doesn’t work out in their favor, then they never learn how to think things through and deal with the frustration in a healthy way.  When opportunities present themselves, we need to allow our children to figure out how to resolve their own situations, deal with the repercussions, and find a resolution all while dealing with the emotions that go along with all of that.  We can be there to guide and encourage them, but we shouldn’t always do it for them.

What I am trying to accomplish myself and teach my children by example is that in most cases, disappointments should be thought of as bumps in the road and not road blocks.  We can get past them eventually and hopefully find a way to do so as smoothly as possible.

Comments are always welcome!  Clicking on the “Home” page tab will allow you to scroll through other posts, or you can select a category or tag word to find similar topics.  If you would like to read future posts, please follow the blog or my Facebook page.