There are plenty of things in life that we can all approach either proactively or reactively. House projects immediately come to mind. In my house, nothing gets replaced or fixed until it is actually broken. I definitely would appreciate if more things were dealt with on a proactive basis. Our health is another example. The more we take care of ourselves by eating healthy, drinking fluids, exercising (or at least making an effort to not sit still in front of a screen for too long), going to regular doctor’s visits, and anything else we can do to help keep our bodies and minds healthy, the less we need to be reactive and take medications or visit the doctor or hospital to treat the resulting symptoms. We can make and effort to keep in touch with people rather than complain or be upset when others don’t reach out to us.
How we interact with people on a regular basis can be thought of as proactive or reactive as well. We can assume when people are speaking to us that there are hidden messages or ill intent in what they are saying and react in a negative way, or we can listen without the negative filter and give them the benefit of the doubt. We can treat people with respect and kindness, regardless of how we are being treated (in other words, treat people the way we want to be treated … the correct paraphrasing of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”), or we can “do unto others as they have done to us.” We can go out of our way to be helpful and generous or do anything to put a smile on someone’s face, or we can only do something nice when we know there will be something in it for us. We can complain about all of our problems and play the victim, or we can find ways to be part of the solution. We can blame everyone else for our poor choices, or we can be accountable for our own words and actions and own up to our mistakes. We can anticipate that things are not going to work out the way we want them to, or we can have hope and expectations that are more positive. We can communicate our thoughts and feelings completely and effectively, or we can be upset when someone can’t read our mind. We can set a good example for our kids of how to be respectful, honest, and all the other traits that go along with having good character, or we can not be conscious of the example we are setting and then come down hard on our kids when they are behaving just like we are. The list goes on.
The bottom line is that all of these things are conscious choices we can make. It’s hard to not be reactive at least some of the time, especially when negative emotions get involved. But in my opinion, it is definitely worth the effort to take a proactive approach to life and our relationships as much as we can. I hope you agree.
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