Finding Positives in the Negatives


Wow, here I am at my 100th post already.  Who knew I had so much to say about everyday life!  I didn’t, for one, but having to deal with all the negative situations and people in my life has certainly made me think consciously about what values and character traits I wish to model and pass on to my children and what really is important in life.  Experiencing the negatives has made me think about what I want the positives to be, and having to deal with people who have been a negative influence in my kids’ and my lives has made me appreciate my friends and family who have had a positive impact even more.

I haven’t always been in a place where I can take a step back and focus on the positives in any given situation, but I am now.  It might not happen immediately, but it doesn’t take too long before I am thinking about what I am grateful for and having confidence that I will be able to deal with things, even though it may difficult at times.  It used to be that I would more often let the negatives outweigh the positives, but I’m trying my hardest not to do that anymore, especially thinking about what kind of example I want to set for my kids as to how to approach situations and life in general.

Dwelling on the negatives only leads to a downward spiral, which breeds more negativity.  While we can’t always change our circumstances, we can change how we view them and how we react to them.  There is so much we can learn about ourselves and those around us if we just keep our eyes open for the bright spots and continue to focus on the bigger picture and any positives we can.  A little confidence always helps, as does being a good listener, and trying not to let our fears control our thought process.

Even though my kids and I have had to deal with some challenging situations recently, it has brought us all closer.  There have been more open discussions about various things in the last few months, and we all have a much better understanding of where we are all coming from and how we see things.  I never would have imagined that my older two kids would hug each other goodnight every night and care about each other as much as they do now, but that is partially due to talking to each other about these situations and feeling like they need to support each other.  I am very grateful for all of that and more.

Negative energy can be all consuming, but positive energy can be very powerful too. Life can’t always be full of smiles and laughter, happiness and joy, and doing things that make us feel “emotionally full,” but making a conscious choice to find and focus on the positives and what we can be grateful for in any given situation is a step in the right direction.

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