Being Selfish

being selfish:relationships

I read this quote and immediately thought that this sums up several of my previous posts.  I thought of ones titled “Compromise“, “Givers and Takers“, “Parenting Your Spouse and Constructive Criticism“, “Being A Good Listener“, “Equal Parenting“, “Undermining Your Spouse“, “It’s Not About the Laundry…”, “Loving Someone Unconditionally“, “Following Directions“, “Being A Minimalist“, “Control“, and more.

You really have to be willing to give in many ways and make compromises in any kind of relationship as well as put others’ needs above your own and be able to work together.  A selfish person is not usually good at any of those things.  There has to be give and take, but that doesn’t mean the selfish person doing all the taking and someone else doing all the giving.  Regardless of the type of relationship (romantic, friendships, family members), both people’s needs have to be met, and selfish people are not good at doing that.  The one exception might be a parent/child relationship because obviously kids are naturally more selfish than mature adults (mature being the operative word there), which changes as they grow older and learn about life.   Children are very needy and shouldn’t have to worry about meeting other people’s needs for a good while.

Adults are a different story though.  I have enough experience at this point with “me” people, as I call them, that it doesn’t take long for them to get on my nerves or rub me the wrong way. I’ve learned over the years that there’s not a whole lot you can do to get a “me” person to be less selfish, so instead I try to disassociate myself from them as much as possible.  Unfortunately, that is not always possible to do, which means my kids have more exposure to “me” people.  I just hope that I am doing enough to help my kids figure out that being selfish is not all it’s cracked up to be in the long run.

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4 thoughts on “Being Selfish

  1. I totally agree with you about “selfish” people….I do try to keep them away from me….as much as possible. As far as children go, though, my son who is 27 has been selfish for many years. At first I thought it was “cute’ — as he did it to my husband. Recently, though, he’s now included everyone in the family in that “selfish” circuit. I am so very happy that he’s finally moved out of the house (and out of state) — as I truly believe that he NEEDS to grow up and realize there is more to life than just him. Ironically, I raised both of my kids the same way…..he turned out that way….and my daughter is much more giving and compromising. I am hoping he figures things out and/or meets a nice woman who will “soften” his rough edges (as I like to call them)!

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    • I will be hoping along with you that he learns sooner than later that he can’t continue to be selfish the rest of his life, especially when it comes to having a healthy relationship with someone else who does not need to stick around if he is not. Hopefully, he’ll figure it out long before that.

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