Being In Limbo and Needing Resolution

limbo

Being in limbo is one of my least favorite places to be, yet I’ve been finding myself there all the time lately.  There are so many aspects of my life that are up in the air right now that it’s hard to think much beyond a few days at a time.  I’ve always done better with stability and predictability in most aspects of my life, so the unknown is difficult to swallow sometimes.  I don’t like loose ends or not being able to anticipate the next step.  Once I have a plan or know what to expect down the road though, then I’m good.

The problem is there are so many unknowns that the comforting feeling doesn’t usually last very long. Then I’m onto the next unknown.  I know life is full of ups and downs and is ever revolving, but there are some pretty significant things right now that I am unsure of how they will work out.  It just gives me that out of control feeling like I am just along for the ride and am powerless to steer myself in any particular direction while I ride out the storm.

Consequently, I tend to latch onto things that are predictable to balance everything out.  Thank goodness for my friends and family who are always there for me whenever I need them.  I know I can count on them for anything at any time.  That’s what keeps me going a good part of the time, but that only works so well though. Eventually I need that resolution of whatever situation.

Relationships that don’t have resolution, either because they are left open-ended or because they are unstable or not well-defined, have always been a source of stress for me.  And I’m sure I’m not alone. I don’t know too many people who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where they know exactly where they stand, how the other person feels, and that the other person has their back and is proud to be theirs and vice versa. When these things are not the case, your mind can be your worst enemy.  All kinds of negative thoughts and feelings can take over due to that uncertainty.  It could be uncertainty about whether it will work out, if the other person wants the same thing out of the relationship as you do, what will happen if it doesn’t work out, and so many other things.  Mixed messages can certainly play a role in the uncertainty.

Add to that other uncertainties such as a job situation, other relationships with family members or friends that are questionable, a health issue, money problems, parenting difficulties, and/or whatever else, and life becomes so much more challenging and difficult to manage.  A stable relationship can have the opposite affect because all of those things can seem much more manageable and easier to deal with when you have the support of another person to help get you through them.

I wish I had some advice for dealing with being in limbo, but I don’t.  It’s just one of those things that can be part of life that some of us have a harder time dealing with than others.  Getting that resolution is key to feeling content, particularly with relationships.  It’s definitely worth asking yourself if you are the one not giving the other person the resolution that they need for whatever reason.  If you are, then perhaps you need to think about doing so because it is probably only harming your relationship.  If you are the one feeling like you’re in limbo, perhaps it is time to address why that is and if there’s anything you can do about it.  In my case, I know what I need to do to get out of relationship limbo, but I just can’t do it yet because of the other situations that are in limbo. One thing at a time, I guess.

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