It’s funny how people who have good character don’t seem to worry much about what people are thinking or saying about them. They know they are good people and are not motivated by what people think of them in the first place. They give to others, for example, because they know it makes others feel good, which makes them feel good in return, not because it will make them look good. People say positive things about them because they are positive people with positive qualities. Their reputation speaks for itself, so they don’t need to try to make themselves look good.
On the other hand, I know someone in particular who is always worried about me speaking negatively about him, yet he has plenty of negative qualities that he doesn’t feel he needs to change. For example, he will say whatever he needs to say to get whatever he wants, even if it means being deceitful or asking others to be deceitful as well and making others look like they don’t know what they are talking about, all to prevent him from getting caught in a lie and looking bad. If I do point out anything negative that he does, he tries to turn it around as if I am so much worse of a person for pointing out anything negative about him than he is for doing those things in the first place. I am supposed to work harder at not saying anything negative about him, yet he can continue to be as disrespectful and deceitful and whatever other negative qualities as he wants. That seems really fair. Basically, his reputation speaks for itself as well. He just doesn’t get that. Perhaps he is so concerned about what I might say about him because he knows there are PLENTY of negative things I COULD point out about him. If that weren’t the case, then he wouldn’t have anything to worry about. I have said numerous times that if he doesn’t want anyone to ever say anything negative about him, then he shouldn’t keep doing all of the negative things that he does.
The best way to have a good reputation is to earn it by having good character and doing the right thing in the first place, not by covering your tracks in any way possible, especially at the expense of others, and by making anyone who points out any of your flaws look like the bad guy. That just makes you look even worse to people. It may take some people longer than others to see them, but your true colors will always come shining through eventually. You won’t need to toot your own horn to impress anyone either if you focus on having good character because you won’t have to try to make yourself look better than you really are.
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