Stubbornness

Some people may think being stubborn is the way to go to get what they want all the time, but it’s really not.  People who always insist things go their way are very challenging to work with or be with and end up frustrating the people around them more than anything.  They rub people the wrong way and make other people not want to even be around them, let alone give into what they want.  There may be some people who are willing to just give in for the sake of keeping the peace and avoiding conflict, but I would say most people get tired of someone else always getting their way.

The problem in my house is that I have an entire family of stubborn people, so life is just a little challenging at times.  OK, life is a LOT challenging a good part of the time.  I can’t seem to convince any of them that life is about give and take and not always being right or first or having everything the way you want it when you want it all the time.  My middle child is sometimes willing to walk away or not do something he wants to do just to avoid or end a conflict, but the other two … not so much.  My kids aren’t little kids anymore either, so they shouldn’t expect to get their way all the time.

And then there’s my husband who is not a team player at all and can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that I might actually know more about something or have a better idea of how to do something than he does.  He pouts like a spoiled kid would when he doesn’t get his way, and plenty of other people notice this, but he doesn’t seem to understand that he is doing this and how it is affecting what people think of him.  So it is not really a surprise to me that my kids are very stubborn as well. I can be stubborn to a point sometimes too, but not like he is.

So much of the conflict in my house could be avoided or minimized if one child would just be willing to leave the room they are in but don’t need to be in at the moment because someone else who does need to be in that room is doing something that bothers them, simply because they were there first.  So much time is wasted bickering over who gets to do something like be on the computer first or for how long.  I end up telling them neither can be on it, or they waste so much time arguing over it that if they both get to use it, they both get really short turns.  Perhaps one day they will figure it out that it’s better for both of them if one person can let the other go first, and the next time they can be first.

If you are willing to compromise and not always have your way, and you are dealing with other people who think along the same lines, then life can be a lot less chaotic and stressful.  In the long run, you should get things your way enough of the time because others will remember that you let them have their way other times and should be willing to reciprocate.  And maybe people will even see how willing you usually are to give up what you want and will go the extra mile to do something really nice for you to show you how much they appreciate your flexibility and unselfishness.  So instead of being a “taker”, try being a “giver” and see how much people are willing to give back to you in return.  It’s one thing to be determined to reach your goals and things along those lines, but being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn, refusing to consider other points of view or let someone else have their way gets really old really quickly.

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